I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
