I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
