i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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