you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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