eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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