had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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