you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
