im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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