ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
