Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
