I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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