whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize