There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
