so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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