im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There r osticjed everywhere
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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