so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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