I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
