he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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