420 ftw
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
