the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
