Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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