I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
