garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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