I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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