i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
