I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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