alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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