watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize