I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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