Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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