She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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