I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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