Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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