He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
