she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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