either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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