Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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