I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
