dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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