The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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