I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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