I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
