oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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