Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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