i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
