I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
