How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
