did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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