I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it was like eating out sand paper
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
