There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
