he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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