and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
