I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
