Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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