Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
