I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
