I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
