My room smells like vodka and shame
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
