Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
