In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
