I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
