she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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