white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
