if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
