There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
