lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
