Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How does one acquire holy water?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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