1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize