Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize