Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
