Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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