john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
