Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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